"Entering my window"

As I type, I am 36 weeks 4 days pregnant. If Amelia were to be born right now she would be considered a preemie. She would likely be just as normal and healthy as if she waited a few more days but I am pleading with her to wait.

Why does it even matter? Because, I am about to "enter my window" of normal and term birth. On Sunday Aug. 28th I will be 37 weeks and considered full term.

Right now she would be "early" and therefore high risk which would send me straight to the hospital. Do not pass GO.
Do not collect $200.

That wouldn't be the end of the world, but it certainly isn't what I've been working towards this whole time. If she goes past 42 weeks I'll be "late" and lose my opportunity for a birth at the Birth Cottage.
Now, truthfully, I would like to be over 40 weeks just to have enough time to mentally prepare a little more, save a little more money, wash a little more clothes, and just get good and ready.
People think I'm nuts when I say I want her to be "late" but the truth is, she will never be late. She will come when she needs to.

All of that is a really boring way to get to my point, which is this.
There is no way for my sweet baby to tell us when she is coming. She can't text me and let me know when she leaves the house. She can't call and say she is on her way or stuck in traffic. I just have to wait.

I have practiced many relaxation techniques for use in labor and one is called a mental vacation. You basically create a mental image of a place you find relaxing and focus on the details of it and the way you feel when you are there. My mental vacation is a coffee shop where I am waiting for her. She is coming and I sit with my drink, looking with anticipation at everyone who walks in.

This little daydream has never felt so real to me as it does in these last weeks. I am waiting for her, everywhere I go. I am looking for any sign that she is coming. I think about every twinge in my back. Was that a "low dull ache" and will it become a contraction? I think about every Braxton Hicks contraction. Did that feel any different than my last contraction and how far apart have they been?

I am just generally anxious.
Not nervous.
Almost anticipatory.
There is not a word that can capture it quite like 'waiting'.
I'm waiting to hold her. I'm waiting to know what she will be like. I'm waiting to nurse her and help her grow. Waiting to see her chubby, pink, face, her nose--my nose, the loving and trusting look in her eyes.

With all I've read and learned and talked about, I'm just feeling so ready to experience it.
I'm finally ready.
Well on Sunday I will be.
:)